Colors of a Field that Burned
by The.Guiding.Star
Summary: Or, stories of being unable to escape, great loss, love in all its forms, expectations violated, starting anew, redemption and sacrifice, an Ex-Deception and his lover's plea, and a moment between three Wreckers. Crack pairings ahoy! Warning: steamy drabble. Read at your own risk.


Hello everyone.

Well, I was insane enough to do another Transformers: Animated Song Meme. Falling in love with new crack pairings, making new discoveries about characters, and slowly fleshing out my plot for a 4th season of TFA, as well as (very slowly) manifesting 'Penumbra', my PerceptorxMoonracer story, another song meme was just BEGGING to be written.

So write I did.

And my writing is still fairly incoherent. BAH.

But I figure it's in existence, might as well get some feedback.

So, my friends...comments? Questions? Incoherent ramblings?

Brace yourselves. This is not my best work...

Transformers: Animated belongs to Hasbro.

* * *

**Colors of a Field that Burned**

or

[Stories of being unable to escape, great loss, love in all its forms, expectations violated, redemption and sacrifice, beginning anew, an Ex-Decepticon and his lover's plea, and a moment between three Wreckers.]

**Snow White Queen – Evanescence  
**  
Firestar was the…most fascinating….of them all. She came into Torkulon's Hospital for the Criminally Insane, already stronger than most femmes…and several mechs. She was very tall, and had a fiery red-and-golden-orange paintjob. She spoke many languages, and knew more about survival than many bots, and was intelligent and flexible.

More than any of his other patients, she was the fairest of them all.

And Dr. Flame's obsession carried into the experiments. A shot of whatever type of steroid or other chemical was planned that solar cycle, then placing her into stimulated battles and recording her reactions. Experiments, to see how such substances would affect soldiers out on the field. Testing and scribbling, then rest and recuperation.

At least the nursebots did that.

He watched her. Her every movement. Every lightning-quick reflex. Every sharp kick and punch and throw. Every drop of coolant on her chassis. Every sound from her corona-orange labi. Every grunt, and groan, and howl, and scream. He wanted her to see.

_Poor thing. In this place. She needs to know that she's helping me. Just like she helped others before the tragic accident that cost her partner, Inferno. Helping the Autobot cause, and helping to end the war._

She knew. The twisted way he thought, and would always try to hide herself, somehow. If not physically, then mentally. Emotionally. Psychologically. And he just stood there and watched her burn, watched as her mind gave way, watched as she feebly fought for what was hers.

_No, my dear. No fighting. You belong to me._

**You Are My Sunshine – cover by The Civil Wars  
**

Moonracer recharged. When she could. But when she couldn't, she'd sit and listen to the sounds of Firestar scuffling around and making plans, and look up at the stars through the unobstructed ceiling of the _Quintessa_.

_Just last night, dear, as I lay sleeping_

The past recharge cycle, she had a dream. She and her girls had returned to Cybertron, to present to the Autobots a found Elita-1. Perceptor was there, to welcome Elita-1 to the Guild Scientius, as well as welcome her back to Cybertron.  
His welcome involved him carrying her into his personal recharge quarters. The dream ended with her falling into recharge in his support servos.

_I dreamt I held you in my arms_

Should've known it was only a dream. Only a piece of her idealistic mind. It was too beautiful to be reality.

_But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken_

Because the reality was that he hurt others, and she hurt him, and the endless cycle of deception and hurt was too much. He hurt her more than the other mechs she had in her life.

_So I hung my head and I cried_

But he was closer to her than those other mechs. Treated her better than those other mechs. And he added to her. Her knowledge, her experiences, her laughter, and her happiness.  
_  
You are my sunshine  
_  
None of them made her smile like he did. Accepted her, and everyone and everything in her life, like he did. No one understood her like he did.

_My only sunshine  
_  
Did she…love him? Was it possible? It was only a deep friendship. Only affection. She was sure.

_You make me happy_

How could she still think these things? He willingly carried out the experiments. Treated other bots as test subjects; only statistics, only shells. Covered up the entire thing from the public optic. And yet…she cared about him. Once. Now, no longer. He was no longer worth her effort. He didn't remember a single thing.

_When skies are gray  
_  
"Or are you just saying that so you won't be hurt? Because, sweetspark, if that's the truth, it will hurt. If you weren't as close as you say, his lying to you about the experiments shouldn't hurt the way it does. If you will be honest with anybot, it had better be yourself. Better to be crazy and know for sure, than to be sane and have your doubts."

_You'll never know, dear  
_  
And found it was true. She was crazy. She loved him. She still did.

_How much I love you  
_  
And all it took was one secret to nearly destroy everything. So Moonracer kept her fondest memories of Perceptor to herself, kept them pure, so no one could corrupt them and make her memories hurt her more. No one ever knew. And if she was fortunate…

…..no one would ever have to.  
_  
Please don't take my sunshine away_

**Bolero – Ending Credits theme from Moulin Rouge! **

Do you see them? The ones called Red Alert and Shockwave. The toughened medic and the hardened Cyclops. They hold on to each other, in a dance. A bolero, a dance of quickly pulling away and pushing forth. Swiftly, strongly, to reflect the pleasure and pain of love.

{Pull back} You should've never followed her into that portal.

{Push forth}But then you wouldn't have met her.

{Pull back} You should've never let her kiss you, before you pulled the trigger on the memory wiper.

{Push forth} But then you wouldn't have learned that you could feel something like….that.

{Pull back} You should've never taken the undercover mission that placed you in close proximity to her.

{Push forth} But then you wouldn't have had the chance to see if your emotions were real.

{Pull back} You should've never kissed her in your disguise, much less gave yourself to her that way.

{Push forth}But then you would've never learned that you really did love her.

{Pull back} You should've never revealed your real self to her.

{Push forth}But then she wouldn't have known and loved the real you.

{Pull back} You should've never told your mentor that you loved her.

{Push forth}But then you wouldn't have learned that he was able to help you, because he had the same experiences you were having.

{Pull back} You should've never let her reveal to her loved ones, much less her whole faction, that she loved you.

{Push forth}But if not then, could the two of you ever be real about your love?

{Pull back} You should've never fallen in love. How illogical of you.

{Push forth} But then you wouldn't have learned that nothing, not you, not love, not even logic, is logical.

What they learn: truth, beauty, freedom, but mostly…..

…love.

**Let Your Love Be Strong – Switchfoot  
**  
Explosions. Noise. Weapons and bombs. Destruction. Things of war. When one thought of Wheeljack, they thought of this.

Science. Quiet. Inventions and repairs. Creation. Things of peace. This was who he really was, the reality of him few bots knew.

Poor Wheeljack. All he was doing was being an Autobot. Protecting love and peace, reason and knowledge. Protecting the beautiful things in this lifetime. Trying to make our universe a little better, a little brighter.

And he deserved better. Better than two pairs of lovers; one star-crossed, the other shadowed like a dead moon. He deserved more than unhappy femmes and emotionally-detached mechs. Better than examples of love gone horribly wrong.

And one would think that after so much gone wrong in his life, both from the secrets and the known, that he would roll out, drop everything, and forget the world. Forget the secret loves he nurtured. Forget the science he contributed to the progress of all that was good and right.

He knows that the world hangs on love. Not just between lovers, but between siblings. And relatives. And students and mentors. And a leader and his civilians. And between the Creators and all creation.

He says nothing. He knows love is strong enough, stronger than anything.

He just wishes everyone knew the same thing.

**Romanza – Unknown Composer, Folk Song, cover by Daniel Magli**

She never expected more from the archer Prime. Never expected more than a fleeting attraction and a box of, admittedly, very delicious energon drops.

Firestar never expected more than a lot of visits from Rodimus. Never expected more than a seemingly sincere promise to get Flame, who she 'lovingly' called Dr. Fragger, to justice….and a lovely little prison cell in Trypticon.

She never expected Red Alert to leave him for the Decepticon Shockwave. Never expected his terrible words to a bot he supposedly loved. Never expected her untimely, tragic death. Never expected his deep remorse.

The rescue bot never expected the 'chosen one' to come to her for comfort. Never expected her arms around him as he just cried and cried, until she was sure her wiring was circulating coolant instead of energon.

She never expects his visits to her to be more frequent, whether to remember Red Alert, vent about Hot Shot, or just….to talk. She never expects it to come to the point where he's dropping in to her office in Fortress Maximus just to say hello.

She does, however, expect Chromia Magnus' mischievous looks at her, and the Magnus' lieutenant simply growls and tries to bury herself in her work.

She certainly never expects him to admit his feelings for her. Never expects the 'I love you' he probably told so freely and noncommittally to Red Alert.

She definitely never expects that she believes him. Never wanted to believe him, because he probably saw her as nothing but a rebound aft.

Except she does, and that this has to be one of the greatest things to happen to her.

In her life of failures, as a medic, a student, a mentor, and a bot, she expects herself to be a failure at being an adequate lover as well. She never expects to be proven wrong.

She never expects to be pleasured by the Prime, one servo cupping her sweetly rounded aft, the other cradling the back of her head. Never expects his gentleness, his caresses and kisses. Never expects the climax, their sparks sizzling with the interface until she explodes into a million little stars.

She never expects to find him holding her when she awakens. Never expects his gaze into her optics as he whispers that he does love her, madly and deeply.

She never expects that she'd love him. Never expects him to be equally loving, equally sacrificing. Never expects any of this to happen to her.

And yet it does.

**Vermillion Part 2 – Slipknot**

For the first time in stellar cycles, Sentinel was willing to give up everything for another.

_Stretched across my shame…_

He was not a stupid bot. Foolish, yes. Egoistical, yes. But not stupid, oh, no.

_All the torment and the pain, leaked through and colored me…  
_  
He knew she didn't love him. That she was probably just using him. Just a test subject. Only an experiment. Only when she wanted to. And he deserved all of it.

_I'd do anything to have her to myself…_

"You're definitely his intelligence. That much I can tell." And she'd scoff. Then smile.

_She's a myth that I have to believe in…_

She wasn't real, per se. She was a clone, not an actual Cybertronian. Technically.  
But to him, she was just as real as her template. She had to be.

_She is everything to me…the unrequited dream…the song that no one sings…_

"This is foolish. Stop this", she says to him once.

She doesn't know; that he was never a bot associated with reason.

_The unattainable…  
_  
He decided instead of trying to redeem himself in their eyes, he'll start anew with a bot that doesn't know about who he was or is.  
A second chance. Redemption.

_A catch in my throat…choke…torn into pieces, I won't…no…I don't want to be this…  
_

One guard shift, instead of her, it was Skywarp.

"Why isn't she here?"

"The same reason I don't want to: she's scared."

"Of me?"

The quivering Seeker didn't answer.

_But I won't let this build up inside of me…_

"Even if I did return your 'feelings', this would never work."

"Out there, maybe. But in this place…"

She looked away. "I am a Seeker, a clone, a servant….of sorts. None of this. My processor says no."

"But what does your spark say?"

"It can't say anything…"

_She isn't real…_

Maybe, just maybe, when this was all over, he could win her over to his side. Live a normal life. Never go back to his horrible old self.  
So he cuts her off with a kiss to the vocal receptor. For the first time since his capture megacycles ago, they will do more than sleep in the same berth. They will understand.

_I can make her real._

**Come What May – Moulin Rouge!**

_Never knew I could feel like this_

This time is different. They awaken together. Slipstream sits up straight first, and as she stretches to work out the small kinks in her wiring, Sentinel follows suit and, placing one servo on each of her shoulderpads, gently lays a kiss to her faceplate. This is how he greets her 'good morning'….whenever he wakes up before she does. If she doesn't leave him before he wakes up.

She thinks she should do this more often.

_Like I've never seen the sky before  
_  
Share his berth, anyway. Her berth, while much larger, isn't all that comfortable or warm. So, after all the time she's been with Sentinel, she left her berth for Skywarp's use and either fell into stasis in a chair in the main controls of the ship or in her captive's berth.  
Her captive. Every time there was a call from the Decepticons, or anybot affiliated with them, she was reminded that the bot that told her stories of his twin apprentices, the bot that listened to her rants about the other Seekers, the bot that admired her intelligence (and did she have a lot for him to admire)…was her captive.

_Want to vanish inside your kiss_

She almost wanted to laugh every time she even imagined 'interface' and 'captive' in the same thought. He still had to wear stasis cuffs, to maintain the captor/captive image and avoid suspicion, but both found out some time ago that the cuffs had…..other uses…

_Every day I love you more and more_

But even after that one night, when she thought that-was-that-and-it-was-great-but-it would-be-a-bother-if-it-got –serious, she was proven wrong. He still treated her kindly. Said tender words in another language with silly translations. He was still gentle in interfacing, time after time, allowing her to do what she wanted but taking great care not to hurt her when he had his turn.

_Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing?_

"How did this happen?", she asks him, after one particularly heated interface, laying on his broad chassis and tracing lazy circles on his chin. "Us? Together? By now they should have come to rescue you from me."  
"I don't know", he murmurs. "If them never bothering to come find me means I get to have moments like this, for the rest of my life, I'd remain your captive forever."  
A pleasant silence passes between them, the faint sounds of Skywarp nervously pacing back and forth in front of the door. Slipstream breaks it first.  
"There's something I feel in my spark, every time I'm near you. I'm a different bot around you. Everything feels better after I've spent time with you. If anything happened to you, I probably give my expendable live in place of your own. Do you have any idea what it is?"

_Telling me to give you everything_

Sentinel felt, for the first time in ages, a flicker of hope in his spark. She loves him. And he loves her. And he'd give up everything from his old life to be with her like this. Forever.

_Seasons may change, winter to spring,_

"I used to be this very arrogant, manipulative, hypocritical, hardheaded aftplate of a bot", he said to her.

"No kidding", she responds in her usual snarky manner. He only grins at her.

"But I, too, have become better because of you. This-what we have-this is called love, Slipstream."

"What?" She nearly recoils. "I've heard about it, what it does to you, makes you weak, and-"

_But I love you, until my dying day_

"-I don't care", he says, gently leaning in to kiss her chassis pillar, that area right beneath her perfect little chin. "Out there, I don't have to be anyone else. I love you. I'm in love with you, and everything's so much better because I do."  
And so she does. Allowed them to be. Allows this to be.

_Come what may  
_  
However brief it is.  
It is inevitable, really. A couple orbital cycles in, and Autobots find their ship and take Sentinel back. He calls out for her, struggles against his rescuers, demanding he be released because he doesn't want to go back, but they assume that he's under some sort of chemical or psychological influence, and Slipstream's cuffs are taken off and replaced with a pair of active stasis cuffs.

She tries to fly after them, to take him back and get him and her brother far, far away, but one of the Autobot sharpshooters fires and catches her in the chassis with several strong tranquilizer darts. She nearly drifts away into space, but Skywarp quickly goes to catch her.

"You could have offlined!", he nearly shrieks in his usual cowardly tone. Slipstream responds, but her voice is unusually empty of her usual sarcasm. It is empty of all but one emotion.

"I already have."

Sadness. A great, crushing sadness.

Back on Cybertron, though no one will say it, Sentinel's lack of …well, a lot of things…is disturbing a few bots. Though everyone is grateful he isn't angrily shouting for any reason, the fact that he hasn't said or done anything since the rescue makes many assume something unspeakably awful happened on that ship.

"I lost her. That's what happened."

"Her?" Optimus asks. It takes him a few moments to register this information.

_Come what may_

"I love her. I really do. You all took me away from her." Optimus is too shocked to say anything. Sentinel simply gets up and pats his old friend on the shoulderpad. "Have a good recharge cycle, Optimus 'ole buddy."

Said bot doesn't know how to respond to this truth as the former Magnus walks back to his old, lonely berth.

He finally responds with a lie.

One solar cycle, he finds that Sentinel has disappeared, this time, without signs of a struggle. The only thing left is a little data pad, telling Optimus what he needs to know. The red-and-blue bot hides it and tells the Autobots he has no idea where the 'old jerk' has run off to this time.

_I will love you  
_  
The 'old jerk' is happy, and content. No longer a jerk. Sentinel has found love.

"C'mon, former Magnus. Let's get the Pit out of here, hmm? I don't feel like getting shot right now."

"I thought you'd never ask."

And love's name is Slipstream.

_Until my dying day._

**It's Not Over - Daughtry**

Little by little, solar cycle by solar cycle, Perceptor loses the once suspicious and somewhat hostile aura he had around Moonracer.

"Forgive me if you will, Moonracer. You were not here, but approximately two stellar cycles ago, we found a mole within the Autobot faction: the Decepticon Shockwave, disguised as an Intel bot, one Longarm Prime. Ever since, many Autobots that worked with him are 'on edge'….including myself, regrettably."

"Don't worry about it, Perceptor." Of course she can't call him 'Percy'. Not yet. She had yet to earn his trust.

"I see you two are getting along."

"Moonracer is proving to be a very fast learner, and of great assistance. No ill will towards you, Wheeljack. You are still valuable to the Guild Scientius."

"None taken, Perce."

"It's almost as if you've worked in the Guild before", he says to the sharpshooter before resuming his work.

That little strike. The scientist doesn't say it to hurt her, but to her, it feels like getting killed a little. She looks over at Wheeljack, and she can see the guilt in his faceplates.

Chromia warned her this was going to hurt. Trying to restore what was lost. Rebuilding their friendship if it was lost forever.

But she looks over at him, bent over his work, lost in thought. He takes a scant nanoklik to glance over at her, and almost….almost….it feels like the past again. His slightly confused and awkward, but warm, gazes at her, and her smiles and gazes back.

_…You're the only one…_

So she scoots a little closer to him and savors his subtly embarrassed look as he returns to his work.

And she knows that a whole servoful of little hurts is worth starting over, and making better, a bond like this.

**Leader of the Pack – cover by the Amigos from 'Happy Feet'**

She remembers when he first turned to the Autobots. The hostility, the harsh words, the terrible rumors about him. All unnecessary, all untrue. She could do little to help, considering her social status. That somebot like her wouldn't dare be seen with someone like him.

_Possible traitor. Spy. Ex-Decepticon._

But she knows him better than the rest. Before the war, before Cybertronian turned against Cybertronian. Deadlock and Binary. The gunslinger and the secretary. Before she became techno-organic. Before he became a swordsbot.

_Partners. Best of friends. Lovers._

They kept saying he was still a Decepticon at the core, even her current boyfriend. Rattlerap. The rat of the Autobot cause.

She knows better. But it's useless now. No matter what she knows, no matter what she can do, he is still leaving with the Wreckers. The red plating army. The suicides.

In the distance, where the Wreckers begin loading their ship, she sees another familiar bot come up behind him. The sniper rifle, the pentagonal optic cover, and the new faceplates may have fooled other bots, but she still sees Perceptor, her former fellow Councilbot, beneath the perpetual frown and the hurt optics.

Her former lover is the first to look away from her and head back to the ship. But the former scientist lingers behind a little and holds her gaze with his own intense look. Botanica relays him one final message, and though he makes no physical indication that he understands, she sees that he does.

_Please, Percy. Please look out for my Drift._

**The Journey Home – Paul Collier**

"You have got to be the only bot I know with a death wish."

While Ironfist decodes the pieces of the Visor League's _Carmina Aequitas_ available to the Wreckers, Perceptor and Drift stand a distance away. Their job is to guard Wheeljack's apprentice from getting snatched by any of their new enemies, should they have also found out about the _Carmina Aequitas_and intend to coerce Ironfist to decode the valuable documents.

"I have nothing else to live for. My colleagues are gravely injured or lost-just look at your friend Botanica-the Guild Scientius is destroyed, and my partner…well, he is as good as dead. The stasis is too deep for him to recover from."

"So that's it, then? Then you're just going to give up? The Guild can be rebuilt-"

"-It is not so simple to repair something that stood for many vorns-"

"-Your colleagues will recover and get better, and the ones that are lost-"

"-How do you know for sure? Can you foresee into the near future?-"

"-Wheeljack will come out of his stasis. He is a strong…a very strong…bot. Have more faith in him. You can't talk like you can see the near future, either-"

"-Faith is an abstract concept-"

"-Faith is something you should've had more in Moonracer."

The former scientist falls quiet for a klik.

"Yep. I went there. I know about Moonracer. And before you ask, I first found from my friend Lancer. Then I saw how she acts around you. And the incident involving Trypticon Prison-"

Drift is cut off by an icy glare from the microscope. Many are scared of this particular expression, but Drift simply folds his support servos and attempts to match the intensity with his own optics. "Don't make the same mistake I did: not wanting to talk about something painful, simply because you can't handle it."

Though his faceplates never change, Perceptor tones down to a calmer, almost patronizing look. "And what do you know of what I've gone through in the past orbital cycle?"

The samurai considers his next words, then responds with a very illogical answer. "Botanica of the Autobot High Council."

Or maybe not so illogical.

"She was….my Moonracer…if I could use the analogy. She was my best friend, too, but she was also my soul mate. My lover. We would've been bonded, had it not been for the war and our opposing views. And even when I turned to the Autobots…..I still….don't quite know what had truly happened. I had the facts, but the feelings were just a jumbled mess. I saw her on the support servo of another mech, and…..I figured 'the past is past, let bygones be bygones'….."

"….And yet she still expects me to look out for you…."

"….Does she?" The sniper responds with a curt nod.

"We've all lost something to this war, particularly in the last few decacycles", Ironfist suddenly speaks up from his work. Though he never turns his head to look around at them, he knows they can hear.

"We all should look out for one another in these hard times. We may not like it, some of us more than others, but we're all we've got. I know you've never liked scientists in general, Drift, and I know you share the same sentiments for Ex-Decepticons, Perceptor, but this is it, right here. We're here together, for what could be our last great adventure, and honestly….I'm gonna be here a while. You two will have to learn to work with one another."

There are no words shared after that. As the inventor now goes back to decoding, the two newest Wreckers look at one another silently, each regarding the other in a new light, then they look at the stars.

Each wishing for their loved ones to be happy in their absences.

* * *

There. This should satisfy you hungry lot until I get back from my trip.

Do I even have hungry readers? I mean, besides Lecidre and the members of PercyxMoonie?

Eh, can't really tell. Gotta go pack.

Until then,

~Ylysha


End file.
